Saturday, 10 December 2011

Confessions of a manwichholic








Yo Mr Manwich is back 'yo!

First off, I need to start by apologising for my absence and tardiness in posting this entry- I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! And check out that sandwich like Santa up there! Regrettably, it wasn't me who crafted it, but what a legend the person is, no?!

It's been a few weeks since my last post and as we all know the festive period can be hectic; however, you'll all be glad to know this has in no way affected my sandwich appetite and consumption (although some have questioned it, and others have even proclaimed the pre-mature death of Mr Manwich! #blasphemer).

So here I am, my sandwich brethren. Christmas has been and gone but here I am, my sandwich faithful, STILL with the same level of sandwich appetite, to present my case and further convey my love for every two slices of bread lucky enough to have been stuffed with fillings of dreams and a series of Mr Manwich Christmas consumptions.

Take this H8Rs.


EXHIBIT A: SPARE PIECE OF BREAD? PUT SOMETHING IN IT

Last weekend, visiting at Granny Stevenson's hoose in Largs, I'm having a wee pre-Christmas lunch with some of the nearest and dearest when an impromptu sandwich opportunity presented itself:

Picture the scene, I'm sitting at the table, a selection of party food and finger food before me, I notice a lonely slice of buttered bread, neglected and destined for the bin on a plate to my left.
The thought of this lonely slice going to waste and failing to fulfil it's sandwich making potential unsettles me, so I reach for the slice, half it, and combine it with another item from the plated selection before me: the classic Scotch pie.

A pie sandwich
See aw that melted butter? Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Think about it: the hot meaty mince filling with crispy pastry between the two buttered half slices and a dash of HP brown sauce on the top to avoid any dryness: dynamite!


EXHIBIT B: FULLY LOADED

Hungry one lunchtime, I head to the local Tesco eagerly anticipating a festive manwich treat! 
Given the time restriction on my lunch break and the prospect of the Christmas sandwich, I get there as quick as I can taking a number of traffic risks and braving the cold, wind and rain synonymous with the Glesga winter. I'm pining for the turkey-cranberry-bacon-mayo combination before me...


             DISASTER

The shelves lay strewn with the remnants of a sandwich free-for-all! Hungry lunchers have been in and devastated the area leaving it with more desecration than no man's land 1944 . I curse myself for leaving my lunch break so late as there are no festive sandwiches remaining and start to contemplate the unthinkable: pasta for lunch?!
As I stand in my lowest moment studying pasta salads and sushi packs, my gaze falls upon a lonely sandwich sitting towards the side of the shelf: a beacon of light in an hour of darkness:





Although this is not the festive offering I crave, I'm seduced by the wording: 'Fully Loaded'. 


In my hour of need, the prospect of the spicy pepperoni, creamy mozzarella and chilled ham with the usual leaves and mayo in a 'Fully Loaded' arrangement is one which I cannot turn down. I pounce on it before any other lunch lurker gets the chance and rush back to the office.







Mr 'Fully Loaded' is just what I need and fully loaded he is. Check all that mozzarella and pepperoni.
And notice how the thumb on the under-slice sinks into the sandwich? THAT'S how soft the bread is, sandwich fans.

Overall, the filling is cool, tasty and fulfilling and upon completion I felt particularly fortunate that I was able to allow the lonely fully loaded to fulfil its sandwich destiny. Sometimes it's nice to give something back to the sandwiches in return for all they give to me.


EXHIBIT C: THE CHICKEN CLASSIC

Glasgow airport. 29th December 2011.

As I sat at departure gate 57 waiting for boarding to commence for my early morning flight to Berlin for a cheeky new year break, the hunger set in. What an opportunity to treat myself to a Boots classic:

The chicken triple.




I'm not going to insult any sandwich fan's intelligence by outlining the ingredients of this sandwich (it's right there) but I will say that it is arguably my favourite sandwich after the Christmas and festive sandwiches floating about. Oh and the Sainsbury's Favourites triple of prawn mayo, ham and mustard and egg mayo. That's a belter btw. A proper collection of staples for all sandwich lovers. Everyone should get one. Now.


So these are just three examples of some sandwiches Mr Manwich has chowed down on over the past few weeks. I think you'll agree that the evidence present is damning: a flash in the pan? Never.

A SANDWICH FIEND?!?





I'll be back with further vengeance in the coming weeks outlining a number of creations, purchases and putting forward a few controversial sandwich points.

Enjoy your lunch, sandwich fans!

Mr Manwich






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